·A Florida Insurance Company Is Offering Coverage For Alien Abductions.For $19.95, clients can receive $10 million in alien abduction coverage fromThe St. Lawrence Agency. The policy will cover outpatient psychiatric care and sarcasm coverage. Policyholders are eligible for double coverage if aliens request conjugal visits, provide offspring or attempt to eat the policyholder. To qualify for a claim, you must return to earth with the signature of an authorized on-board alien.
·Charmin toilet paper is now selling “forever rolls.”The oversized TP rolls have up to 1,700 sheets per roll(in comparison, a regular roll of Charmin has 77 sheets)and are supposed to last for one month. Because the rolls are so big though, you have to purchase a special toilet paper holder or get one free with the Forever Roll Starter Kit priced at just under $30.
·Dictionary.com has just added over 300 new words for 2019, and let’s just say that some of them are quite slang-y (is THAT a word?) Some of the new additions include “dad joke,” “welp,” “womp, womp,” “info dump,” “screen time,” “toxic masculinity,” and the abbreviation “JSYK” which stands for “just so you know.”